Friday, April 12, 2013

Hammies, Manners and Workaholism

Yoga lesson #354: When an instructor asks the class, "How are your bodies feeling today?" -- DON'T ANSWER.

I take an Iyengar class on Wednesdays, which is a style that involves holding poses for extended periods of time. And the instructor focused a lot on hamstrings this week. So my hammies were sooooore. I made the mistake of telling this to my Vinyasa yoga teacher today. She spent the first 20 minutes making sure my hamstrings were nice and warmed up.  :-|

I can't complain, though. When you sit in front of a computer all day, stretching your hamstrings and hips for an hour ends up feeling like you got a massage.

I actually wanted to go out for a walk after work today, but the wind is crazy. Again. I hate wind. And the wind gets COLD over at the lake where I like to walk.

I took Hero out for a walk last night. He's still getting used to his Gentle Leader. he hates it. But he's too out of control without it. So I have to deal with him stopping every 5 feet trying to pry it off his nose. I know he'll get used to it eventually -- but I wish he'd hurry up. I want a walk companion!

I was looking at the photos of Hero I posted on Facebook last night, and I couldn't believe how much he's grown in the 6 weeks we've had him. I mean, wow. And I'm so proud of his progress. He knows come, sit, lie down, off, no licking, out of the kitchen, kennel and settle. In only 6 weeks, he learned all that. And (when he's not over-excited, at least) he is doing well with his door manners, sitting back from the door and waiting for one of us to open it and give him the command to go through. I have high hopes for him learning his walking manners too.

Can you tell we're big on manners in this house?

I am having a blast at work these days. At all my jobs. At my day job, I spend all my time writing and designing, freeing my creative spirit. For GlobalWrites, I get to put on my editor and website manager hats and go all Type A on that mofo. For Horizon Peak, because it's still so new, I get to experiment with different content and delivery options, which satisfies the research nerd in me.

Jeremy and I had a discussion this afternoon about work types. He's the blast-then-rest type, busting out a ton of work really quickly and then crashing/resting for three times as long as he worked. Whereas I'm a steady, round-the-clock worker. I like to keep the work load even because big spikes create a lot of stress for me. This also means that I rarely have a true rest day -- I have to be diligent about scheduling that in.

I know I've become a bit of a workaholic in the last year. But it's a coping mechanism as much as anything. Working helps me focus on productive things, which helps me manage my grief better. But I'm also careful not to let work consume me. I make sure to go to non-work-related classes and events a few times a week, and spend quality time with Jeremy every single day.

Grief is all-consuming when you don't actively manage it. It's easy to get sucked into that black hole and spiral down until you can't see and can't breathe. Even when you do manage it, it's always there, lurking in the background.

In my nightly prayers last night, I asked God to help me experience my grief through the eyes of immense joy, rather than experiencing my joy through the eyes of immense grief. It's something I'm aiming toward, and time is helping.

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