I have gotten a lot sillier as an adult. You'd think I would have been sillier as a child, but no -- I was a pretty serious kid. And terrified of embarrassing myself. Insecure, to put it plainly.
But as an adult, I have lost that fear of being embarrassed. Not that I don't ever get embarrassed, but it doesn't hold me back. For the most part, people forget things. Quickly. I might remember something stupid I did or said a year ago, but the person I did that thing around or said that thing to has probably forgotten all about it. So living my life around avoiding embarrassment is just not a smart way of living my life.
Besides that, I do love to take risks. It keeps life interesting, and keeps my fires stoked. And part of taking risks is risking embarrassment.
I was flipping through the TV this weekend and I came across You Again. Essentially it's about a girl whose brother is marrying the girl who bullied her in high school. And even though the bullied girl grew up to be a successful, cool adult, she starts to revert to a state of insecurity around her former bully. It got me thinking, I wonder how I would act if I were face-to-face with one of the kids who gave me a hard time in high school?
I wasn't bullied, necessarily. I just didn't fit in. I got along with everyone because I was genuinely nice to people, and I kept my head down. But there were definitely a few situations where a kid was what I would call "mean." I imagine if I ever got face-to-face with one of those people, they would be shocked at who I became. It's not often that a shy girl learns to live her life so confidently.
That video I posted yesterday is a perfect example of something I would never have done in my teenage years. Or if I did it, I'd have three inches of makeup on and the video would be about three seconds long. Oh how far I've come.
This webcam I bought came with software that allows you to animate a CG character, such as a shark, an alien or a cat. You click a button and start talking, and the character's mouth moves in sync with your voice. As soon as I saw that feature, I grabbed Jeremy and brought him into my office to create a video for our twin nephews. I put the shark on screen, said a few words, got Jeremy to add his voice to the mix, then put it on YouTube and sent my MIL a link.
The 3-year-old twins called us about a half hour later, SO excited that Aunt Jessi was a shark! Hahahaha. Janet told us that when they first saw it, little David asked her "Is that when Aunt Jessi was a shark?" We couldn't stop laughing.
It was a silly video done on a whim, with no ego involved -- and it delighted our nephews to no end. If that is the only thing that came out of me refusing to remain insecure, well it was so worth it.