There is nothing good about losing a child. But after experiencing that pain, I can tell you with absolute certainty that nothing will ever be as bad as that. Which puts EVERYTHING else in life in perspective.
We've had some bad breaks in the last year. Really bad. Yet both of us, agnostic Jeremy included, firmly believe that good things are on the way. I would go so far as to say we're both expecting BIG miracles to balance these scales a little.
Jeremy unable to find work, someone stealing our deceased daughter's identity, infertility -- these things would have kept me up at night before we lost our daughter. But I'm able to take our problems in stride because frankly compared to what we went through a year ago, they are no big deal.
What I wouldn't give for that perspective without having to have gone through what I did.
Nevertheless, I've got a peace of mind now that I have never had in my life. I might need a day to recover from some bad news -- I might need to take some time out to meditate or vegetate -- but it's not the weeks of obsession and "what iffing" I used to undergo.
And you know what? I think everyone that knows us has gotten a little dose of perspective from our situation.
We appreciate everyone's love, and how our friends and family check in on us. But we get confused sometimes when people worry about us or feel sorry for us. I mean, if we can get through a tragedy like that and still be a sane, loving married couple -- well, what do you think would break us?
Everything is going to be okay. For us, and for you. Take a note from me and breathe -- meditate, concentrate on your breathing for a few minutes and let the world operate without your input while you re-center yourself. It'll all be okay.