Wednesday, January 02, 2013

Looking Forward

I have two friends who are in the process of adopting. One is adopting an older child, and she and her husband are starting the state-required parenting classes this weekend. The other has been on a waiting list to adopt a baby for almost two years -- and she and her husband just moved down to number 19 on the list (they started at 50). I am OVER THE MOON for my friends!!!

I also have a few friends who are pregnant. For some this is their first, others their second or third. I love reading their Facebook posts about baby kicks and even morning sickness, because it reminds me of my own pregnancy. I loved being pregnant, and I look forward to going through it again and again.

And finally, I have friends who have decided to stop having children. They've had their kids, their bodies can't take any more, and their baby days are behind them. I am excited to see them blossom in this new phase of life, diapers and midnight feedings behind them, watching their kids come into their own.

This all means something important. It means I have taken the next step in my own healing. I am overwhelmingly happy for my friends -- and there is no stab of jealousy or sorrow in my heart. I look forward to joining them once again for baby showers and playdates, but that's all. I look forward. I don't feel sorry for myself. That is HUGE progress!

I am doing the Living Proof Ministries' year-long scripture memory challenge. It started yesterday, and every two weeks I will be memorizing a new verse. My first verse is Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV): "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I think that is a very apt verse to start 2013 with.

It's going to be a good year.

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