Thursday, January 03, 2013

Life a Little Different Than Planned

I feel like I got hit by a truck.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night with a head-splitting migraine, and it only started to subside this afternoon.

Usually I can feel migraines coming -- but this one struck me out of the blue, and at a really odd time. Not sure what's up with that.

Jeremy took good care of me, though. He got me coffee this morning, checked in on me every so often, and he's ordering us some Chinese food for dinner (which automatically puts me in a better mood). You'd think he'd be sick of taking care of me now, since I've been getting migraines every 3-4 weeks on average during the last six months. But no, he just patiently asks what I need and gives it to me without a fuss.

We've been home together for years, and I think that helped our relationship dynamic more than anything. I have worked from home for over 6 years, and he put his business to rest over 2 years ago to stay home with Scarlett. It wasn't an easy adjustment for either of us. He likes to have the TV on all day (for the noise, he says), whereas I was used to a quiet house during the day. I had my lunchtime gym routine, but he liked to eat lunch together. I got irritated that his sleep schedule differed from mine (I go to bed and rise earlier than he does by a good hour or two). And heaven forbid I had to work late -- if it was one minute past 5pm, he was in my office asking me when I was going to be done. But over time, we got used to it. Over time, the things that once irritated us became comforting routine.

Having Jeremy home with me is normal. It's comfortable. We know each other's habits and needs, and they are part of each other's days now. Taking care of me when I have a migraine doesn't take anything away from his day, and he gives me a good excuse not to work late. Instead of planning time together, we actually plan time apart. Jeremy looks forward to the nights I go to my study groups or the lunches I spend at coffee shops with girlfriends -- it gives him time to catch up on his comic reading and watch b-rated horror flicks on the big screen downstairs.

Sure, we still butt heads. Just ask him about the trash can in the back yard sometime. But we learned a long time ago that when you're home together, there's nowhere to run. You have to face your problems head-on. So the second our tempers cool, apologies and hugs commence. There's an unconditional nature to our love now that wasn't there until we were home together.

This wasn't planned when we got married. In fact, I always thought I'd be the stay-at-home parent while he was the breadwinner outside the house. But God had a different plan for us. It was super unexpected, but I am so thankful for it.

Now Jeremy is interviewing for full-time jobs, and it's got me in a twist. It's going to take some getting used to, not having him around all the time anymore. So I'm extremely thankful that we have had this time together to create this relationship of ours. I don't think we're unshakable, but I think we're strong, and we can weather anything now.

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